I’ve been reviewing my posts, because I moved this blog over from Blogger to WordPress in order to be part of a community… and that requires categories and tags.

That helped me read what I’ve written before… and I’m shocked at how much is unrecorded. Every time I changed my eating habits in one direction or another, I’ve become sick. That hit me – THAT is why I feel like I have to go all or nothing. And stay there. I cannot afford to get strep throat every time I stop or start eating well. *sigh*
It’s also been good for me to review how good I felt, what was so positive about eating right, and so forth. I now weigh 282 pounds – which is more than I weighed a year and a half ago. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. My gall bladder is starting to have wee twinges, which is a warning sign. My thighs are rubbing again. My left knee and right ankle are acting up a bit. I look HUGE in the mirror and in pictures. I’m tired all the time. I’m feeling depressed. But I can’t seem to be arsed to make the necessary changes again.

And I don’t know why. I’m frustrated by this. I’m trying to tell myself the good news is that I’m not driving much (a couple of times a week), I’m walking everywhere daily, and I’m swimming most days. At least I’m physically active. But I’m still feeling very, very discouraged.